Well Well Well. Thats all I can say. Life has taken a turn and I cant seem to get back on my general routine. I cant seem to track my food, get to the gym, ect. I eat what I want when I want, and I just cant stop. Could it be my new relationship? Stress? Work? Holidays? All of it put together? I need to figure out what it is. I will succeed this and I need to stop this now. I need to start getting to the gym and eating right. I HAVE TO DO THIS! Its almost LIFE or DEATH! Its KIDS or NO KIDS! Its FUTURE or NO FUTURE! UGH!!!
Okay, I am off my high horse. I went to my WI yesterday even though I didnt have a good week and I ended up losing 2lbs. not exactly how but I did. I am open to losing 33lbs total. That is amazing! I know I can do this. I just need to get back to the gym and get my routine back. I am doing this for me. I love this new me. I feel sexy and happy.
I promise to myself this week will be better. I will start tracking and `working out. I need to. I need to go back to the way it was. <3 I can do this!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday Weigh In
Well I lost .6 today! I was for sure I was going to see a gain! I am very much pleased with that. I had a decentt day for being a monday. Something made me feel soo good about myself. This hasnt happened in a very long time. I went to auto zone before my WW meeting because my check engine light was on. So I walked in and a young cute guy asked me what I needed so I told him and he said
"Are your keys in the car?"
Me: "Umm...No."
Auto Zone Guy: "Is your doors unlocked?"
Me: "lol...no."
Auto Zone Guy: "Man your gonne make me work today."
Me: "Well you are at work so you have to work for your money."
Auto Zone Guy: "Very true."
As he takes my keys opens my car door to do the test he puts my keys in the engination and my raido came on.
Auto Zone Guy: "Tayloe Swift fan?"
Me: "Im a country fan, that is just the radio."
Auto Zone Guy: "Oh, Who is your favorite country band?"
Me: "Dont really have one just country in general."
We start talking about country music and he asks me if I have ever heard of Levi Lowery, which I hadn't and he told me I needed to look him up because I would probably like him. I told him I would and he said actually I have a burnt cd of his I can just give to you. I was like okay sounds great. He goes over with me why my check engine light was on and then gives me 2 busniess cards...one was of a place to have my car looked out at and one of Levi Lowery. As I was walking out he asked me for my name and number. So I gave it to him. :-)
I was so surprised that someone would even first flirt with me like that and then ask me for my name and number. Just crazy! It made my day. I cant get over it!! I wasnt even dolled up or anything, I had scrubs on, no make up and my hair pulled back in a messy bun. Just crazy! I love they way I am looking! Happy Monday!
"Are your keys in the car?"
Me: "Umm...No."
Auto Zone Guy: "Is your doors unlocked?"
Me: "lol...no."
Auto Zone Guy: "Man your gonne make me work today."
Me: "Well you are at work so you have to work for your money."
Auto Zone Guy: "Very true."
As he takes my keys opens my car door to do the test he puts my keys in the engination and my raido came on.
Auto Zone Guy: "Tayloe Swift fan?"
Me: "Im a country fan, that is just the radio."
Auto Zone Guy: "Oh, Who is your favorite country band?"
Me: "Dont really have one just country in general."
We start talking about country music and he asks me if I have ever heard of Levi Lowery, which I hadn't and he told me I needed to look him up because I would probably like him. I told him I would and he said actually I have a burnt cd of his I can just give to you. I was like okay sounds great. He goes over with me why my check engine light was on and then gives me 2 busniess cards...one was of a place to have my car looked out at and one of Levi Lowery. As I was walking out he asked me for my name and number. So I gave it to him. :-)
I was so surprised that someone would even first flirt with me like that and then ask me for my name and number. Just crazy! It made my day. I cant get over it!! I wasnt even dolled up or anything, I had scrubs on, no make up and my hair pulled back in a messy bun. Just crazy! I love they way I am looking! Happy Monday!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Trip to Columbia
Jennifer and I took a trip to Columbia this weekend. We got here around 2pm Saturday and went to a pumpkin patch, chuck e cheeses, and then I went to my moms. It was hard...there was pizza at chuck e cheeses and soda, popcorn at the pumpkin patch and at my moms she made apple crisp. UGH! We did do A LOT of walking at the pumpkin patch, up and down hills chasing the kids around and such. I had pizza, diet soda a handful of popcorn and a serving of apple crisp. I feel so bad, I weigh in tomorrow. Its going to be bad, I shouldnt have any of that. I am going to see it at the scale tomorrow. BUT the pizza was amazing, the apple crisp was warm and delish. Maybe it was worth every calorie! :-) Today is a new day!
Friday, October 14, 2011
"Its Friday Friday Friday...
...Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend. Friday, Friday"
Yes that is the Rebecca Black Friday song! :-) When I listen it to I just have to think about my CO trip to Miranda and Jaynes wedding last month. Marylee Marisa and I listen it to the whole way there. Oh great times great times! Well...I went and worked out this morning. It went well. I didnt get to go yesterday I was having some car troubles. Since I had the session with my personal trainer I feel a lot better about using the weights to make sure I am using them correctly. Usually I dont even use the weights because I didnt want everyone to look at me and everything. Now I dont care, we are all there for the same reason to get healthy, stay healthy, maintain physical activity, ect. I know will lay on the floor and do cruches and sit ups and I feel good about it. I even did almost the whole Week 1 Day 1 or C25k today. It was tough and I felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest so I chose to stop bu I did get through half of the 20 min running/walking workout which is awesome.
Songs are really my inspiration right now. I get stressed out and upset sometimes and I try not to resort back to my old habits like eating junk foods and candy but sometimes its so hard not to. I try to get away from food all together and go to my "happy place". Music, scrapbooking and now the gym.
Yes that is the Rebecca Black Friday song! :-) When I listen it to I just have to think about my CO trip to Miranda and Jaynes wedding last month. Marylee Marisa and I listen it to the whole way there. Oh great times great times! Well...I went and worked out this morning. It went well. I didnt get to go yesterday I was having some car troubles. Since I had the session with my personal trainer I feel a lot better about using the weights to make sure I am using them correctly. Usually I dont even use the weights because I didnt want everyone to look at me and everything. Now I dont care, we are all there for the same reason to get healthy, stay healthy, maintain physical activity, ect. I know will lay on the floor and do cruches and sit ups and I feel good about it. I even did almost the whole Week 1 Day 1 or C25k today. It was tough and I felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest so I chose to stop bu I did get through half of the 20 min running/walking workout which is awesome.
Songs are really my inspiration right now. I get stressed out and upset sometimes and I try not to resort back to my old habits like eating junk foods and candy but sometimes its so hard not to. I try to get away from food all together and go to my "happy place". Music, scrapbooking and now the gym.
Go longer, you can last more rounds
Push harder, your almost there now
So go lover, make mama proud
And when we’re done, I don’t wanna feel my legs
And when we’re done
Push harder, your almost there now
So go lover, make mama proud
And when we’re done, I don’t wanna feel my legs
And when we’re done
But you can’t stop there
Music still playin’ in the background
And you’re almost there
You can do it, I believe in you baby
So close from here
Baby I’mma be your motivation
Music still playin’ in the background
And you’re almost there
You can do it, I believe in you baby
So close from here
Baby I’mma be your motivation
"Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve."
-- Mary Kay Ash
-- Mary Kay Ash
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
No Pain No Game
Today I had my first session with my personal trainer. It will very well, better than expected. I am of course sore and we connected it seems like which is amazing. I didnt feel like I couldnt tell her if it was hurting or I didnt like that kind of work out. She very much in deed did push me. I did floor excercises, machines, using balls, stretched ect. Several times while using a machine she made me stop to increase the weight amount because she said I looked like it to easy...I wasnt giving her my funny its hurting face. My muscles are feeling it now. It was very much worth loosing an hour of sleeping in. :-) She wants me to go back in 2 weeks to make sure I still feel comfortable with the excerses and then maybe change some things up a bit. She is amazing nice and knows what she is talking about. She weighed me took my BP and my body fat %. My BP was great 101/80 (bottom number is a little high though but good for me), my weight was amazing (yes I did just say my WEIGHT IS AMAZING) it was 296!!! At the gym I am in the 200's...I hope my WI at WW is just as good, and my BF % was 46.6 which is typical. But overall it went great. Today was my 3rd day in a row to work out, and I am going again tomorrow to meet a friend there, then friday I am sure I will end up going. This weekend I am goint out of town to COMO and taking my nieces to see Disney Live, I only hope I can stay on track and not eat everything I see. I am so very happy with myself. I am a rockstar! My muscles are hurting but I will okay. I am starting to love the gym once again. Never look back because everything is right in front of you.
No Matter How Hard
I will not be giving up! Tonight I watched Biggest Looser and there was a great lesson tonight. They talked alot about not giving up and living your life to your fullest. One trainer talked about how even if there is someone or something standing in front of you, you have to find a way around it and move on and overcome it. You have to find the strength inside yourself. You have to believe in yourself. Do stuff you never thought you could. Then they played this song which got me in tears.
No matter how hard
No matter how tough
There is no turning back
No way you'll ever give up on me
No matter how dark
No matter how deep
The challenges may be
You're gonna find me right here
Always right beside you
Whatever curve
Life may throw
We're in it together
'Cause you and I
Are building our dream
They say impossible
They say it can't be done
Can't break us down 'cause we're unstoppable
They say too difficult
That it could never work
They think that we've been tryin' for too long
But I know better
I know that we're about to show them all
No matter how sick
No matter how tired
Frustrated I become
You never let me give into that
No matter who sees
No matter who thinks
That they can put you down
Go on and hold your head high honey
Circumstances for worse or better
Are no excuse to forfeit our dreams
They say impossible
They say it can't be done
Can't break us down 'cause we're unstoppable
They say too difficult
That it could never work
They think that we've been tryin' for too long
They can say what they want to
Anyway it never matters what they think
They're still blind and we're still free
I know I know I know...
They say impossible
They say it can't be done
Can't break us down 'cause we're unstoppable
They say too difficult
That it could never work
They think that we've been tryin' for too long
But I know better
I know that we're about to show them all
No matter how tough
There is no turning back
No way you'll ever give up on me
No matter how dark
No matter how deep
The challenges may be
You're gonna find me right here
Always right beside you
Whatever curve
Life may throw
We're in it together
'Cause you and I
Are building our dream
They say impossible
They say it can't be done
Can't break us down 'cause we're unstoppable
They say too difficult
That it could never work
They think that we've been tryin' for too long
But I know better
I know that we're about to show them all
No matter how sick
No matter how tired
Frustrated I become
You never let me give into that
No matter who sees
No matter who thinks
That they can put you down
Go on and hold your head high honey
Circumstances for worse or better
Are no excuse to forfeit our dreams
They say impossible
They say it can't be done
Can't break us down 'cause we're unstoppable
They say too difficult
That it could never work
They think that we've been tryin' for too long
They can say what they want to
Anyway it never matters what they think
They're still blind and we're still free
I know I know I know...
They say impossible
They say it can't be done
Can't break us down 'cause we're unstoppable
They say too difficult
That it could never work
They think that we've been tryin' for too long
But I know better
I know that we're about to show them all
No one will stop me, no one will come between me and my goals. I am going to show them how its done. I WILL do this. I WILL achieve. I WILL succeed. No one will break me down, I am unstoppable. I am going to rise like a skyscraper!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Life as it is...
I said I was going to post this yesterday but I got busy so here it is today. I will just have to repost this every now and again so you can see the updates on it. Here ya go...
I am very excited to get to my next goal which I am almost there. Went I weighed in at WW I was 304 which means I only have 7 more pounds and I get a mani and pedi! Yay! Cause I know it is very much needed. I should have put a tattoo as a reward...but oh well! Anyway off to work to go! Have a great day. Oh yea...I did go and work out again today, then tomorrow I have a personal trainer at 9am...this should be fun. Happy tuesday! <3 Lovin life! :-)
Monday, October 10, 2011
Weight Watchers Clean Sweep
Weigh in went well. I am expecting little to no weight loss but I did have one. I lost 1.6 pounds this week. Not bad still within the healthy range. I will do better this week, I know I will. At the meeting we talked about clean sweep, taking everything we shouldnt really have in the house/kitchen that we shouldnt be eating. Well I dont think she got the memo that halloween in just in a few weeks...we have candy in the house. I know I wouldnt get into it if we didnt open the bag...but what did I see when I came home from work last night...the bags were open....ugh!!!! I havent got into them....YET! They are just staring me down...this is where its hard to stay and be good. I know if I have one I will have 3 then 6 then 10 so I will not give in. I will overcome this...
Before I went to WW I had my "last chance work out" with a friend of mine. It made me feel so good that a friend came to me to help her with loosing weight. Its been my life for a while now so I guess people can tell. She texted me the other day saying that she wanted to loose weight and wanted my help with it. So we set up a time and we went to the gym together. It was a good time, I love having someone there to talk to and stuff. It makes it better. On wednesday I have my first appt with a personal trainer. We shall see how it goes, I kinda want it to be like the trainers on BL but I know it probably wont. I need someone that is hard on me and will push me to go longer and harder. Sometimes myself just isnt enough.
This comic always gets me!! I hope one day mine wont make me cry! :-)
Later on today I will putting up my goal and checklist for my weightloss. I feel like everyone should have something to work towards and a gift to yourself when you make it. Happy dieting!!
Before I went to WW I had my "last chance work out" with a friend of mine. It made me feel so good that a friend came to me to help her with loosing weight. Its been my life for a while now so I guess people can tell. She texted me the other day saying that she wanted to loose weight and wanted my help with it. So we set up a time and we went to the gym together. It was a good time, I love having someone there to talk to and stuff. It makes it better. On wednesday I have my first appt with a personal trainer. We shall see how it goes, I kinda want it to be like the trainers on BL but I know it probably wont. I need someone that is hard on me and will push me to go longer and harder. Sometimes myself just isnt enough.
Later on today I will putting up my goal and checklist for my weightloss. I feel like everyone should have something to work towards and a gift to yourself when you make it. Happy dieting!!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Run to the Lights
Leaves are falling..
...and so is my weight!! I know I havent written in a few days, ya know how life can be sometimes. I havent had a very good 2 days. I was eating pretty much what I wanted to eat but I was still aware of what I wa putting in my mouth...that is still okay right? LOL! Today has been good so far, got up went to the gym went to walmart ha subway for lunch and now I about to get ready for work. That is helpful though, my job is pretty active and physical. Im a CNA I lift turn and take care of residents. Most of the day I am sweating so I know I am burning calories which is a plus.
So I am thinking of getting a personal trainer, I think I need some sort of support when it comes to the gym. I can get to the gym but when I start working out I get discouraged. I see skinner people there that I know look better on a treadmil then I do. So I am thinking it is time to get one, someone who can push me at the gym who knows I can do it also. I really wish I can have Bob from the biggest looser here and be my trainer!! That would be amazing.
I need to get back the swing of things. I need to start counting points and tracking how I used to do. I am paying for WW now so I need to use ALL my tools I have right in front of me. I know I can do this, I want it so bad. I want to be healthy so I can have kids of my own and to play with them and be there for my family. I need to do this...its life or death. My blood pressure is high, Im at risk for a lot of different health issues down the road. Im young, and I have a long life ahead of me. I need to do this now, not in a few years not when Im 40 but NOW!
I need something to look forward to, to train for, a goal that isnt so far away then my goal weight. I am thinking of a 5K. Idk which one to do or how long to give myself to train for it. I have a lot to think about in general, but now its time to think about getting ready for work..well I guess not think but to do. Ugh! lol Happy weekend everyone!
P.S.
I only have 6 more pounds until I am forever out of the 300's!!!! I hope I get there by Monday!!
So I am thinking of getting a personal trainer, I think I need some sort of support when it comes to the gym. I can get to the gym but when I start working out I get discouraged. I see skinner people there that I know look better on a treadmil then I do. So I am thinking it is time to get one, someone who can push me at the gym who knows I can do it also. I really wish I can have Bob from the biggest looser here and be my trainer!! That would be amazing.
I need to get back the swing of things. I need to start counting points and tracking how I used to do. I am paying for WW now so I need to use ALL my tools I have right in front of me. I know I can do this, I want it so bad. I want to be healthy so I can have kids of my own and to play with them and be there for my family. I need to do this...its life or death. My blood pressure is high, Im at risk for a lot of different health issues down the road. Im young, and I have a long life ahead of me. I need to do this now, not in a few years not when Im 40 but NOW!
I need something to look forward to, to train for, a goal that isnt so far away then my goal weight. I am thinking of a 5K. Idk which one to do or how long to give myself to train for it. I have a lot to think about in general, but now its time to think about getting ready for work..well I guess not think but to do. Ugh! lol Happy weekend everyone!
P.S.
I only have 6 more pounds until I am forever out of the 300's!!!! I hope I get there by Monday!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Day By Day
Today has been great so far! I woke up feeling great refreshed and ready to start my day. I got dressed had breakfast and then went to the gym. I was there for a while did 1 mile in 18 mins on the treadmil did some other things as well. I went to the store and finally came home. Of course I got on the computer...I went to facebook and looked at my friends updates and came open a picture and this article underneath it. It struck me and I wish I could find where it came from. Here you go!
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.
Mermaids do not exist.
But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.
We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)
To me this is all very true. People go to the gym to help loose weight. That is not some kind of encourgement. It is awful that people would think it would want to get people to work out. I am totally irritated by that. Although Tara Lynn is very beautiful. I love this picture. I cant wait until I am down at that size. I dont have to skinny or thin I want to healthy and comfortable in my body. I want to be able to have kids and run around with them, ride rides with them at the theme parks. I want to be around for a long while. I dont really care what people think of me, I am doing this for myself not for anyone else. If someone is serious about loosing weight and getting healthy it must be for themselves. Anyway...I am going to end this by saying "The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach." -- Benjamin Mays
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.
Mermaids do not exist.
But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.
We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)
To me this is all very true. People go to the gym to help loose weight. That is not some kind of encourgement. It is awful that people would think it would want to get people to work out. I am totally irritated by that. Although Tara Lynn is very beautiful. I love this picture. I cant wait until I am down at that size. I dont have to skinny or thin I want to healthy and comfortable in my body. I want to be able to have kids and run around with them, ride rides with them at the theme parks. I want to be around for a long while. I dont really care what people think of me, I am doing this for myself not for anyone else. If someone is serious about loosing weight and getting healthy it must be for themselves. Anyway...I am going to end this by saying "The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach." -- Benjamin Mays
Comparison....
I want to take actual pictures for this purpose but I didnt think of it in the beginning of this. So I here is a pretty good comparison of how I looked before and then now. I think I look great! I hate to toot my own horn but it is great to beable to see it for yourself. Its hard to tell because you see your body everyday so its very hard to tell a difference. So here we go. I hope you can tell!
What do you think? This is about after I lost 26lbs. My family keep saying wow "skinny mini". I have never once been told that I was small...I kinda like it. <3 <3 <3 <3
What do you think? This is about after I lost 26lbs. My family keep saying wow "skinny mini". I have never once been told that I was small...I kinda like it. <3 <3 <3 <3
I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause
Monday, October 3, 2011
Weigh In!!!
Well...I went to ww today and weighed in knowing that I did my best to stay on track and I did well. I lost 5.8 this week! I was so excited to see that!!! Woohoo go me!!!! I am rockin this and I can do this! Before to long I will be at my goal!!! Loving life!!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The last few days
I am pretty proud of myself from the last couple of days. I havent really been tracking but very aware of what I have been eating. I made the best choices I could with having a busy weekend in Branson and going to SDC with tons of fried foods and eating out the whole weekend. We did walk around a lot which helps. I weigh in tomorrow and we shall see what happends at the scale. I hope to see the number go down but Im not quite sure. If not I will have a fantastic next week, going to the gym eating right and I should see the number go down. I have starting seeing someone new and its helpful that he is also trying to loose weight to so we are eachothers help. We try to keep eachother on track. Its nice. This is not just a diet but a lifestyle change! Loving life is the key!!!!
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